Sunday, February 25, 2007

church today was as usual, amazing..
daniel was leading worship and then suddenly this song came up.

casting crowns - who am i

yes.. the lovely song that i totally erm.. love.. haha..
see, thing is, last night, on the way home, i was thinking about hongtat again.. i dont know why.. maybe it's because i normally do that when i'm free..
so i was asking God what was going to happen to us.. because this entire thing has been going on and on for so long and it still isnt going anywhere and frankly, i dont know if i should continue holding on, hoping for him to do something or if i should move on, let time tell what would happen to the both of us.. so i told/asked God, to let these 2 songs play during worship tomorrow..

delirious - majesty (here i am)
casting crowns - who am i

and if they did, then he and i may have something in the future.. then, i realised, that if neither of the songs were played, then the answer would be 'no' and i might not be able to take it..
come to think of it, i think i was more afraid of knowing the answer.. to actually come to face the fact that i would have to move on without him.. which does pains me in some ways..
so right now, i guess i'll just have to figure out what God means when He let that song play..

then joyce went on to share about something of which i cant remember and the verse from the bible she shared was this

proverbs 13:12
hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life."

it does make sense doesnt it?
you long for something, say a really pretty dress which is quite expensive.. if you dont get it, you feel so sad, so angry, so.. sick..
but if you get it, you're oh-so happy, so full of life because you're smiling..
it applies to everyone..
i know my girlfriends would probably kill me but they probably know this would happen anyways.. haha..
(:
i still love them to bits..

so i'm still learning and trying and waiting to see what my future holds and what plans my good Lord has for me.. so i guess i'll just hope and see what happens to hongtat and i..
it feels weird just saying his name.. haha..

and minn asked me to blog about her.. which then reminds me.. she used one of the photos and wrote
"she's a little girl"
on my side of the picture.. evil.. haha!!! that crazy girlfriend..
(:
love

vanessa