this is the random ones that were taken.. haha.. super random..

this is taken in the bus, on the way home.. haha.. i love the bluish tint.. so pretty... haha!!

this is the pictures taken on the bus.. the individual pictures.. haha!!! all random poses too.. random poses are love.. haha!!! and the last one here is the webcam pictures.. haha..

haha!!! mostly me because i didnt ask the buddy to send her pictures over.. so its me me me.. the one on the top right hand corner is siying and her sister, liying.. haha.. we had quite a fun time with the webcam.. anyone wants to webcam with me?! haha.. what fun..

(:

webcams are love too.. other than the fact that i would have to bother about how i look, the rest is super fun.. haha!!! and you know what? i have small eyes.. haha!!! okay, i think that fact has been established since a long time ago.. haha!!

so anyways, went to meet with samantha after all.. went to sakae and had a brief dinner.. chatted about things and stuff.. laughed a whole lot too.. told her that she has to go to wenfu's wedding at the end of this year.. haha!!!

after that, we walked around bugis a little and i bought panties!!! haha.. i love the old ones but they're getting loose.. haha!!! so yes, panties and then continued walking around.. then went to bishan with her to get her letters.. then i came home.. haha.. yeaps.. this is pretty much my entire day.. seems like everyday, i do so few things.. but time seems to take such a little longer when i'm actually doing it.. i want to go try on clothes everyday and have so much fun.. too bad we all have to grow up.. darn.. haha..

ooh.. watched oprah and i heard this..

"verbal abuse is more damaging than physical abuse"

and i couldnt agree more.. although both hurts, i think the verbal ones would leave a deeper wound as compared to the physical pain.. i know it because there are things my mum said that i still remember very clearly, like it happened just yesterday.. i dont want to go into details but just know that it's freaking hurtful.. all the horrible things she said took place years ago.. like around 4 years.. and i still cant forget them.. it hurts each time i recall those times.. the physical pain was more of the caning and stuff.. i can forget some of them and it doesnt hurt as much as the pain i feel when i reminisce about the times she said those things.. i think maybe we register words better than actions or something.. the physical scars will heal as time passes.. but how do you heal the scars of the mind? you feel the pain on the inside and you cry, hoping it just might make you feel better but instead, your heart aches, literally.. and i thought i was going to die.. that was just madness..

either way, we really should abstain from hurting others.. i wouldnt want someone to remember me as 'the hurtful person'

know what i want people to remember me as? i think i would want it to go something like this..

"vanessa the thoughtful one who cares about everyone and never fails to help someone in need. always trying to walk closely with God and is holy"

and i would want to go to heaven and hear God say

"well done good and faithful servant."

but since we dont have gravestones no more, i just hope that people will remember me that way.. still, i am human and i might fail sometimes.. i shall just try my best and pray that God will change me for the better..

(:

alrights.. got to go.. i am so sticky, it's gross.. haha.. love!

relient k

be my escape

i've given up on giving up slowly

i'm blending in so You wont even know me

apart from this whole world that shares my fate

and this one last call You mention

is my one last shot at redemption

cause i know to live You must give Your life away

and i've been housing all these doubt

and insecurity

and i've been locked inside that house

all the while You hold the key

and i've been dying to get out

and that might be the death of me

and even though there's no way of knowing where to go

i promise i'm going because

i got to get out of here

i'm stuck inside this rut that i fell into by mistake

i got to get out of here

and i'm begging you

i'm begging you

i'm begging you to be my escape

i've given up on doing this alone

cause i've failed and i'm ready to be shown how

You've told me the way, and now i'm trying to get there

and this life sentence that i'm serving

i admit, that i'm every bit derserving

but the beauty if grace is that it makes life not fair

and i've been housing all these doubt
and insecurity
and i've been locked inside that house
all the while You hold the key
and i've been dying to get out
and that might be the death of me
and even though there's no way of knowing where to go
i promise i'm going because

i got to get out of here
cause i'm afraid that this complacency is something i cant shake
i got to get out of here
and i'm begging you
i'm begging you
i'm begging you to be my escape

and i am a hostage to my own humanity

self detaiend and forced to live in this mess i've made

and all i'm asking is for You to do what You can with me

but i cant ask You to give what You already gave

and i've been housing all these doubt
and insecurity
and i've been locked inside that house
all the while You hold the key
and i've been dying to get out
and that might be the death of me
and even though there's no way of knowing where to go
i promise i'm going because

i got to get out of here
i'm stuck inside this rut that i fell into by mistake
i got to get out of here
and i'm begging you
i'm begging you
i'm begging you to be my escape

i fought with You for so long

i should have let You win

oh, how we regret those things we do.

and all i was trying to do

was save my own skin

but so were You

okay, a clarification.. the last sentence, "but so were You" refers to the fact that God was saving the singer's skin.. not that God wants to save His own skin.. a clarification taken from songmeanings.net.. so yes, that's that..

(:

vanessa