Wednesday, April 18, 2007

hey dearest all..
sorry for not updating the past few days aye.. havent been well..
the first day of school started out quite okay, until the in and out of classrooms started.. with the extreme weather changes, eg, freezing classrooms to hot outdoor weather, i started to get sick..
the trip home was pretty bad too, with all the loud sounds and weird smells..
then, i fell sick.. so i came home, slept and had dinner and slept again.. i must thank God for mummy who was there for me and took care of me while i was in this semi-conscious state of being sick and all.. if i were in her shoes, i think i would have just let my daughter sleep throughout the entire night and see how it goes.. instead, she made some herbal drinks for me, woke me up to take medicine and made me drink water.. i dont know what i've done without her.. i'd probably still be very sick i must say..
so on tuesday morning, bird text-messaged me and she was so scared of her papers.. haha.. that poor girl.. in nationaluniversityofsingapore's medicine school, what else can you expect except loads of mugging and stuff.. so yeah, after which, i went back to sleep at around 5plus, then i woke up, wanting to go to school and mum refused to let me because i ran a fever during the night and so well, yeah, didnt go to school.. after awhile after i fell back to sleep, she woke me up and we went to the doctor's.. got my medicine and the doctor said i put on weight..
so people, trust me when i say i've gotten fatter.. you cant deny that.. my face is rounder!
haha.
so anyways, spent the day sleeping and resting then had dinner..
sleep was good and in the middle of the night, mum came in to check on me and made me take panadol because she felt i was too warm.. so i did and then in the morning, woke up at around 9plus and got ready for school..
thank goodness lesson started at 1200 so i had a little more time to rest before school.. so mum fetched me to school and then lessons were horrible because the rooms were still so freaking cold and i was coughing this dry cough.. frankly, i'd prefer the cough with the phlegm so i know that i'm coughing like, for a reason or something and dry cough doesnt seem to be anywhere.. like, you're coughing but it's not getting better, neither is it getting worse.. crap isnt it?
-sulks-
so anyways, lesson starts at 0900 tomorrow and ends at 1600.. which sucks because i want to go home early for a good rest.. honestly, i dont like the 2 hour breaks.. i'd prefer it if they pushed everything upwards and then let us go off earlier.. walking in and out of extreme weather sucks too.. makes the whole thing even worse.. i might even get sick every monday and take leave on tuesday permanently.. haha.. i hope that doesnt happen..
so anyways, everything has been pretty good, other than the fact that nini's no more in class.. sent her an email but she hasnt replied..

and i was telling buddy yesterday, that suddenly, i was afraid..
i dont know why.. i just felt that way. i was afraid of what the future holds, afraid of where i was going to be, or where would i be rather.. would i have a job to support my family, would i be able to get out of poly, would i even have a future to think about.. just taking the courses that i am enrolled in just freaks me out.. they keep telling us about how this module will help us in our future jobs and such.. bu frankly, i have no clue where i want to be, i dont even know my own personal goals.. do i still want to be in the infotech line? or would i want to pursue a different career if i dont make it into university..
well, so i prayed about it and asked God to be there for me and help me..
and guess what? He astonished me by telling me, very directly..
see, when i was text-messaging bird, i told her that
"dont worry so much.. He's there way before you are."
it came out from my own head and there, that was His answer to me.. it really is more comforting to know that He was, is, and will be there for me, throughout everything..
although i still am a little afraid, i guess i'm LESS afraid of what the future holds because i know my Lord has me in His hands..
(:

take care alright sweeties? have a blessed second-half of the week..
p.s. i cant wait for saturday and i wished it'll always be saturday.. haha..

vanessa