Sunday, April 8, 2007

i realised today, that one of the reasons why we like someone is that we find traits in the other person that we lack in our lives.. for some girls, a fatherly figure.. for some guys, a motherly figure.. or maybe both for some people.. so when we find someone who has those parental traits of which we lack in our own personal life, we have this tendancy to want be around that person to feel the comfort..
which should partly explain why i was attracted to hongtat.. i didnt really have parents who would tell me that they cared and loved me as much as i wanted them too.. my parents love me, i know that for a fact.. but i think love shouldnt just be actions.. i feel that they should be a mixture of talk and action.. as in, there should be the saying of 'i love you' and the actions that reciprocate 'i love you'.. he kind of took on the role of both but lesser action and more talk. which was what i lacked in that period of time.. which i still do lack sometimes now when i feel more lonely..
(i am more mature now and i comprehend that actions do speak louder than words and i know my parents say 'i love you' through their actions and i've learnt to 'take it out' from their actions)
hongtat was always there, when my parents werent.. partly because i wasnt as close as i am to them right now.. so when i had problems or wanted a little cheering up, i'd turn to him.. and he would always make me smile and somehow, forget all my problems..
and what still attracts me to him is the sense of security somehow.. i dont know why but he seems confident about himself which in turns, makes me feel secure..
are you getting what i'm trying to say? it's like the attraction for me, is like filling a gap in my life.. he seemed like a fatherly figure to me.. not that i was lacking a dad or anything.. it's more like.. doing the things my dad didnt do..
of course there's the physical attraction thing.. but i'm focusing on the 'mental' attraction.. haha..

so is this part of love? or should love be 'restricted' to only complementing each other? what does complementing each other mean anyway? my thinking? complementing each other would be something like filling each other's gap, just like what i mentioned earlier, about filling that void.. of course, there might be people who would disagree with me on the definition of 'complementing each other' in relationships..

love is a tricky thing isnt it? there are many factors to consider and all that.. but what can we do? haha..
anyone with the answers? what is complementing each other in a relationship? does love really work that way?


anyways, today, i proclaim, Christ has risen and He lives in my heart.. that's how i know He lives.. He is always around me whether i feel His presence or not.. it's a fact that i keep close to heart and i am thankful everyday for Jesus' love..

vanessa