Monday, April 30, 2007

monday night..
went to school on my own.. it seems like an eternity since i last took a bus to school.. haha!!! not that i mind really.. i wish more eternities like these would happen.. haha!!! then i can sleep a little more every morning.. haha!!
so anyways, walked to the bus stop and then when i was about to board the bus, i caught a glimpse of this tall guy standing beside me.. so i stole a glance from the corner of my eye and realised it was junguang.. haha!!! i was a little panicky.. like i didnt know what to do.. haha!!! i was contemplating on whether to look at him and pretend to be ULTRA shocked and say
"hey.. junguang right? HI!!!"
and start asking him about school and stuff. you know, the usual things..
then i decided not to.. haha!!!
so we boarded the same bus, i took a place at the standing area and then he came to stand beside me and i wanted to laugh so badly.. haha!!! i'm shy okay.. haha!!!
-smirks-

so anyways, school was good, had a good time with peggy and huifen and frances.. you know, the usual laughing and joking and all that.. but i ate quite a lot today.. ooh! i had TAU SUAN!!! not chengteng.. haha!!!
-grins-
i think i shall eat tausuan everyday.. it's cheap and pretty filling.. oh! maybe roti prata one of these days.. see when huifen's eating.. haha!!!

having assignments already and it's stressing me out a little somehow.. presentations and all..
-shivers-
i'm okay with presentations as long as they arent in front of more than 10 people.. haha.. 10 is the maximum number of people.. any more than that i freeze and start shivering.. haha!!! people-phobia.. haha!!! okay, i'm pretty sure there's a really difficult word for this kind of phobia... i just cant recall it right now.. haha!!!

-rubs eyes-
i'm feeling tired already.. and i wanted to stay up later because it's a HOL-LEE-DAY tomorrow!!! haha!!! but it seems that i shall be going to bed soon after i bathe and my hair dries.. haha!!!

ooh! i was wondering.. should i go for my church camp? should i should i?
i'm pretty much up for it because i can go there and relax and get away from some of my troubles for awhile and get in touch with God, bringing myself closer to Him.. well, hopefully it really happens because i tend to lose concentration really fast.. haha.. it's a habit i'm trying to get rid of..
(:
i need to slim down a little man.. my ass is getting bigger.. haha!!! need to start swimming soon.. my arms are flabby.. i dont dare to wave anymore.. haha!!! imagine all the loose skin swishing around.. ohman!
-shivers-
haha!!! got to train my muscles back.. they've been gone for a pretty long time and it's high time they came back.. swim swim swim!!! i'm still a little hesitant about running though.. i dont have the stamina to run long distances.. which sucks because only long distance running can help train the calf muscles and tone them.. running in sprints just makes the muscles bigger.. which is not good.. no no no it isnt..

i hope my period hurry ends.. i want to swim..
):
haha.. and like what i've said over and over again, why cant guys have periods and why cant they give birth?! i mean really!!! but then again, i cant imagine them wearing pads and giving birth.. imagine a baby's head coming out from their... erm.. birdbird.. haha!!! feels a little uncivilised to say the P word somehow.. haha!!! maybe i'm still a little immature about it but yeah.. birdbird still sounds better to me.. haha!!!
-smirks-
ohwells.. life is like this i guess..

know something? i think that what some of the movies and tv serials show us when someone is trying to get over another person or something, they immerse themselves in work and just pile themselves with so many things to do, just to get their mind off whatever they've lost, is not entirely true.. at least not for quite a handful of people.. some people like me, like to take free time and just think about the things that used to be and sometimes, maybe even the possibility of the future..
dont worry my dears, i am perfectly fine.. i'm just in the phase of moving on.. almost there..
(:
in our own time, we heal with our own ways.. my way of healing might be different from yours and everyone else but we will heal somehow.. for some of us, the scars will remain, for some of us, there wouldnt even be a sign of the pain.. then there are some of us who will never heal completely.. these are the people who in my opinion, just cant let go.. and i might one day, be one of them.. it's just the fear of losing someone you love dearly and knowing that nothing you do can bring them back.. and i'm not talking about boy girl relationships.. i'm refering to family..
it just scares me, to come to terms with the fact that i might one day live without my parents or even shawn.. and i dont want that day to ever come.
well, healing is s thing that outsiders cant help.. not much anyway.. to get over someone, is to just keep them as a memory that you know will last.. to let them go, to release your grip on them..
you know what? i dont know what i'm saying.. haha!!! alrights, i think i got to stop here.. my eyelids are shutting down on me.. too tired.. haha!!!
alrights loves!

vanessa