i have been strangely tired these few days so i apologise if i'm not blogging as frequently.. not sure if the period's coming again...
anyways, all has been pretty good so far, just have been having a little backaches.. that i dont know the cause.. might be the fact that the chairs in school suck like mad, that i havent exactly been sitting as straight as i should be. then again, because i have been gaining a considerable amount of weight, it's straining my back.. well, my doctor did say that gaining weight will increase the strain on my back.. that would be one reason why i cant afford to put on weight.. which means smaller boobs..
haha!!
that was just random..
well, woke up later today because school starts at 1200.. went to school, had the usual lessons and then stayed back awhile with some of the classmates to meet minn to get my stuff..
that poor girl is still sick..
):
):
hurry get well my dear!
ooh.. met joyce after school today.. she seems very well for those church members who are wondering.. she's looks pretty good.
(:
then met yiling too.. and she was shocked when she saw me.. haha.. i cut my hair again for those who dont know.. haha!! even shorter this time..
minn, buddy and yiling all said each time i cut my hair, it get shorter.. haha!!! i think it was after my operation that i decided to keep my hair short.. one of the reason? long hair will probably just irritate my back and my scar is very sensitive to touch.. so yes, i dont think i'll be keeping my hair long anytime soon.. and my initial wanted hairstyle was keira knightly's 'domino harvey' movie.. here's a picture of her, not in the movie but with the hairstyle.. it's superbly stylish.. haha..
isnt it rather stylish? then again, it remains a mystery if i can pull off that look or not.. haha.. but it's so pretty!!! i think i shall wait until 3 months later to cut my hair again.. think i shall do the keira knightly hairstyle then.. haha!!
i havent been up to much lately so i guess my blogging frequency will decrease as well.. even if i do blog, there isnt much to blog about is there?
havent been reminded much of hongtat recently although some songs do bring back some memories.. still, like i've said, it's not affecting me much.. i can move on and have already moved on.. the feelings have subsided and it's going to take a lot more then just smothering me with nice honey words to make them come back.. it's only the memories that are bothering me.. that they wont disappear... i know they wont disappear but.. it's more like.. i want them to because some of them still hurts a little when i do think of him.. i know i said it doesnt affect me and it really doesnt..
wait.. am i talking sense?
hmm.. let me phrase it this way..
the fact that he's attached now does not affect me..
the fact that the memories of which he has left me, affects me somehow..
get what i'm trying to say? i hope you guys do because i dont know how it's supposed to sound.. haha!!!
so yes.. sometimes, i wonder to myself, if knowing him was something bad or good.. i mean if i didnt know him, i wouldnt be feeling what i've felt.. i wouldnt have felt all the pain and cried all the tears..
then again, if i had not known him, i would know how it would have felt to be cared for, even if it was for that brief point in time, even if all that was just a lie..
they say there are two sides to a coin.. and so i believe.. it's so contradicting.. and it sucks a little too..
right now, it feels like i've lost a friend.. cant chat with him online, doesnt reply to text messages.. but i havent been texting him since.. his birthday i think.. ya.. and still, he dares to say
"i hope we can still be friends"
or something..
some people..
tsk..
haha!!!
alrights alrights.. shall get going now.. almost 0030 soon.. i need my beauty sleep.. dark rings are appearing and they are ugly.. haha!!
love!
vanessa
