Saturday, May 19, 2007
saturday already.. it is! writing this post at 0015 in the morning, or 0015 at night.. whatever rocks your boat.. haha!!!
IS module today wasnt that bad except the leader is just all talk and no work.. that's what i'd like to call,
"lip service"
she has loads of ideas but she doesnt do the work.. i want to go up to the teacher and tell her to change the leader status to me instead.. i mean really..i was the one doing all the proposals and whatsnots, planning and giving out work for each member to do and all the leader does is just talk and talk and talk..
she sucks..
-sulks-
how horrible can some people get? i mean if you are assigned the post of leader, you should TAKE THE FREAKING RESPONSIBILITY!!! not just hide away and let everyone else do the work! i REALLY will mark her down.. know something else? out of 4 meetings we've held, she only came for 1. another thing? for that meeting, she was late.. SHE'S LATE FOR EVERYTHING!!! even class.. gosh! how unlucky can i get, to have such a member in this group.. if i fail my work, i'm going after her.. slap her or something.
anyways, i think i'll try to wake up early and swim before going for the 'teaching as a career seminar' with minn.. she dragged me there.. haha!!! but since i already had in mind to be a teacher in the future, might as well go now and see what they offer and what are the criterias to becoming a teacher.. i'll just see how it goes.. yup..
think i'll wear a skirt tomorrow.. havent worn a long skirt for a pretty long time.. not really convenient when going to school you see, climb the bridge and stuff.. later people at the bottom of the bridge can see my undies.. not very funny.. it's almost like exposing yourself to everyone.. which is just gross.. VERY gross indeed..
haha!!
oh darn.. my room's in a mess all over again.. haha!!! always like this and it's so irritating after awhile.. i want more boxes.. haha!!!
ooh! tutoring today was pretty fun and rather relaxed because i didnt want to stress the twins so we did things a little slower.. they got back their exam results and the younger one made quite a lot of progress as compared to his elder brother.. they need more pushing.. A LOT MORE pushing.. better force them to study very hard for the end of year so they can get into the class they want for secondary3.. it's always good to start learning how to mug when they're still young.. but of course, not mug too hard otherwise it'll become this weird habit of studying non-stop even when there isnt a need to.. which, in my opinion, is just scary.. haha!!!
you know, sometimes i wonder, at random times of any certain given day that i get so bored and that i dont have much on my mine, i wonder..
if he has thought of me today, if he wonders if i'm okay, if he wonders if i'm still hurting and stuff like that.. iknow i'm already over him, that if someone else comes along, i'll gladly agree (if he is really the kind i like and stuff) and start a relationship.. but i just cant help, asking myself the questions i do.. why? i really dont know either.. i guess, maybe, after all, i do wish that he's feeling guilty for what he has done. i know it seems really horrible of me to think that way, to want him to feel that way.. still, no matter how nice i may seem and no matter how holy i try to be, i am after all, still human.. although i do try not to make mistakes and stuff, i just dont know how to make myself unfeel these things i feel.. i know i might have forgiven hongtat for all the things he has done to hurt me, to thank him for making me feel the way i felt and knowing how it feels to be somewhat, in love. if you can call that love, that is.. for all these invaluable experiences, i know i thank him and am grateful for all that has happened.. but i just cant seem to let go of the feeling, of wanting him to feel guilty.. if i could know, i would want him to say he's feeling guilty.. but if he doesnt feel the least bit, then.. i think i might hold his pinkie, and BREAK IT!
-smirks-
haha!! that was just horrible.. but then again, i think i am permitted to do so.. haha!!! wouldnt you all agree with me? or am i just this really horrible person? haha!! then again, i hope all the best for him.. and sometimes, i do wonder, what would become of us in the future.. maybe we'll stay just friends... or maybe even lesser.. maybe not even hi-bye friends.. maybe not even that..
anyways, got to go, need my beauty sleep.. and topic of choice my dear readers? anyone at all..
loves!!!
death cab for cutie
summer skin
squeaky swings and tall grass
the longest shadows ever cast
the water's warm and children swim
and we frolicked about in our summer skin
i dont recall a single care
just greenery and humid air
then labour day came and went
and we shed what was left of our summer skin
on the night you left i came over
and we peeled the freckles from our shoulders
our brand new coats so flushed and pink
and i knew your heart i couldnt win
cause the season's change was a conduit
and we'd left our love in our summer skin
vanessa
