Monday, March 31, 2008

here's something that will touch your heart.

ninetynine balloons.

i saw the video through bird's blogpage
i went to read the blog before watching the 6minute clip which, in hindsight, was.. i dont know.. good?
so i was weeping non-stop at the different points of difficulties the family was facing and the part where their son eliot passed on, and the love letter matt mooney wrote for his wife, ginny..
all the things they said and faced are so beautiful and complicated and different, compared to the silly problems we normal people face.. the way they appreciated God even though they had to go through such a rough patch in their lives.. carrying eliot to a full term and they only get to hold on to him for 99days.. i dont know what i'd do if i were them.. would i still be able to hold on to God's promise and love? would i still believe in a loving God?
i hope i dont have to go through something too major to find that out.. i dont want to falter from this relationship i have.. it'll be too much for me to bear.. but God likes to push our buttons sometimes isnt it? break you down and then you learn to lean on Him and at the same time, He picks you back up.. maybe it might be different for some others.. but i realised that God likes to bring me down to my knees, (in a good way) and from there, i learn that everytime something goes wrong, it's always when i try to do something my way and i dont lean on God or trust Him..
i know it's hard to feel like you have no control over your life.. it's only human to want to control.. even when we dont have the steering wheel, sitting at the passenger seat, we sometimes demand to know where we are going, telling the driver to take which ever route that is safe for us.
but ever so often when i try to take hold of my steering wheel and push God to the passenger seat, i find myself losing sight of where i want to be, and just losing my way.. the road becomes really bumpy and i dont want to ask for directions until i get really lost..
then when i decide to ask God for help, i switch roles with Him and He starts driving my car and soon enough, we're back on smoother roads.. and even if we are on bumpy roads, i feel safe because i know God knows His way..

suddenly, i recall a story.. i can remember vaguely about this story that stretches for quite some bit.. i'll try to dig it out soon and see if i can get it posted here.
anyways, i'll try to post pictures of the sunset soon yeah?
peggy's bugging me!!!
haha..
loves..

vanessa