Monday, March 3, 2008

i was just reading this magazine that auntie lee eng from church gave to me. there was this story, that made remember that throughout my life, God is the one who will always love me the way i am, and that i dont really need a guy in my life, to make me feel like i'm loved. so here's an extract of the story.

"looking back, i realise that all i wanted was to matter to somebody, to be accepted for who i was. i was desperately searching for someone to love me.
... without that other half in my life, i simply felt like i was incomplete. ...
it wasnt that no one was interested in me. it just seems like all the guys i admired didnt like me back, and the few that did like me were just not i was looking for. it got harder when it seemed like things were falling in place for my friends around me. one by one, their crushes turned into real romances. everyone, it seemed, was getting hitched - everyone but me.
i felt undesirable, unwanted and strangely, empty.
maybe you can empathize with how i felt. i begun to think that my emotions were simply part and parcel of life in the real world; they would never go away.
until, one day, i realised that i had been searching for love in all the wrong places.
a few years back, i was in thailand, and a few of us took a truck up the mountains. at that time, i had just graduated from university, boyfriend-less, and my future seemed so uncertain.
i stood on a ledge that overlooked the valley of chiangmai, saw all the dots of cars on the roads and even tinier specks of heads walking along the streets. suddenly, i sensed Him telling me "I care for each and every one of these millions that you can see, and so many more that you cant see - just like I care for you. i know what your life will be life, and the joys and pain you will go through. I know how much you need to be loved, and I am here for you. trust Me. let Me love you."
His love was there all along - i just never quite understood it. He loves me and accepts me, even with all my imperfections and insecurities. i cant understand why He loves me so, when i truly dont deserve it, but He just does.
some days, i must confess, i forgot about Him, and get caught up in my usual feelings of feeling unwanted and unloved (terrible, right?) but He always waits for me to remember that i have Him in my life, and He's going nowhere.
He completes me"

dorothea koh


it was pretty much a stark reminder of my life somehow, when i was constantly shrouded with random feelings.. well, it does help that i am pretty confident of myself sometimes.
(:
haha.. got to go!
loves!

delirious
majesty (here i am)

here i am, humbled by Your Majesty
covered by Your grace so free
here i am, knowing i'm a sinful man
covered by the blood of the Lamb

now i've found the greatest love of all is mine
since you laid down your life
the greatest sacrifice

Majesty, Majesty
Your grace has found me just as i am
empty handed, but alive in Your hands
Majesty, Majesty
forever i am changed by Your love
in the presence of Your Majesty

here i am, humbled by the love that You give
forgiven so that i can forgive
here i stand, knowing that i'm Your desire
sanctified by glory and fire

now i've found the greatest love of all is mine
since you laid down Your life
the greatest sacrifice

vanessa