Monday, May 5, 2008

a little depression
a little reminiscence
just a little love lost
just a little pain gained

you left too early
without bidding goodbye
you had to go
to leave the suffering

someone came in today
and took your place beside the wall
but your place in my heart
will never be filled with someone else's paws

i want you back here
where you should belong
i want you back here
and away should you never have gone

so help me love this someone new
as much as i had loved you


so for those who dont already know, new dog at home.
malshi breed, pretty small, female, 2 months old.
i just dont like the fact that it's going to die someday and i'm going to have to deal with it again.
i miss otto.
i miss him so bad, i'm crying everytime i think of him.
it's hard not to think of him when i'm looking at the new dog.
it's hard not to remember what he used to do.
it's even worse when the new dog doesnt do the things that otto used to do. i cant stop comparing. how otto is so much better than this new dog.

but on the lighter side, grandaunt and mummy have since been happier, looking after a "baby".

i still miss otto. and yes, the stuff i came up with while feeling so emotional, was for him.
i know animals dont have souls and when they pass on, it's gone.
still, i will always remember his smile, his triangular face with his cute ears, the way he tilts his head to the side when shawn and i do something amusing and he doesnt really get it, the way he'd stand on the ledge of the balcony while mummy washes the floor, the way he'd let me pet his head without coming too close, the way he'd always stare at us so innocently when he wants to have what we're having for dinner.
i miss so many things about him that more than half the time writing this post, i'm wiping tears away from my eyes.
i just cant help feeling so extremely sad about this.. i dont know if i ever want to have another pet dog at home. i cant bear to look at it.

vanessa