Monday, November 24, 2008

i've been most likely weird and a little snobbish the past couple of days and probably for the next few days until the end of this week i hope.
i dont know why actually. it's not like what my cousin suggests (aka depression), neither am i being very emotional.. i just feel, different.
i dont know what contributes to the entire "i dont really like anyone right now" kind of feeling but then again, that feeling isnt exactly what it is.. it's something else..
maybe it's "i might like you now and i might hate you later" kind of feeling with a sense of detachment paired with it.. in any case, i'll apologise to everyone first since i dont know whose toes i might step on.. I'M SORRY!!!
):

why are grades so important? why should the society segregate everyone according to what grades they got in secondary school, in polytechnic, in junior colleges, in university and even at work.
sure it helps split the uber clever ones from the ones who cant really study.
but how does it help us in society when relationships are more important? people can forsake friendships when we're schooling, what more in the working place? we could go behind someone and stab him or her in the back and then appear like we're helping to bandage the wounds someone else created. it's scary the way we humans are, that we put ourselves first before others.. getting to a sales before someone else does, holding on to something that we might not need..
yet at the same time, i dont know where to draw the line between sharing my work and just giving someone answers.. if i send my friend my answers, does that equate to helping that person or not helping? and if i dont send, does that mean i'm being selfish and just not helpful? i dont know my stand here because i dont know what is right and wrong in this case. i dont know where i should draw my line.. i could say that if you asked me how to do something and show you how to go about doing it, i'll help you to the best of my abilities. but i am unable to confidently give someone else my answers in the hope that he or her doesnt copy my answers and then get me into trouble..

so back to the topic of giving us grades.. i dont think grades should matter that much.. i think examinations are fine by the standards of making sure we students know what we've been taught but not to define us as students, the mentality that we are or are not able to study hard.. but what am i to do, honestly, when the entire world is doing the same thing.. how can i, just one voice, change the way the world has done things for centuries?

competition.. when will it ever stop? i wish we all lived simple lives, not a worry in the world and the only worry was what to eat for the next meal.
life. what a life.

everything but the girl
missing

i step off the train
i'm walking down your street again
and pass your door
but you dont live there anymore
its year since you've been there
and now you've disappeared somewhere
like outer space
you've found some better place

and i miss you
like the deserts miss the rain
and i miss you
like the deserts miss the rain

could you be dead?
you always were two steps ahead
of everyone
we'd walk behind while you would run
i look up at your house
and i can almost hear you shout, down to me
where i always used to be

and i miss you
like the deserts miss the rain
and i miss you
like the deserts miss the rain

back on the train
i ask why did i come again
can i confess
i've been hanging round your old address
and the years have proved
to offer nothing since you moved
you're long gone
but i cant move on

and i miss you
like the deserts miss the rain
and i miss you
like the deserts miss the rain
and i miss you

i step off the train
i'm walking down your street again
pass your door
i guess you dont live there anymore
its years since you've been there
and now you've disappeared somewhere
like outer space
you've found some better palce

and i miss you
found some better place
and i miss you
like the deserts miss the rain

vanessa.c