Wednesday, November 25, 2009

all of a sudden, i miss her.
and i remember her face when she was gone.
i recall, ever so vividly, when i would never see her in the flesh again.
and i miss her badly once more.

things dont get easier. but they are supposed to arent they?
my first year without her.
my first birthday without her.
my first Christmas without her.
this year should be of memorable milestones.
not this sort of milestone, where i have to learn how to let go of someone.

i have a closer relationship with my other grandaunt and i'm afraid of losing someone again.
i am afraid when things have to end.
i am afraid when things dont have good endings and i am kept wondering, hoping, praying, crying.

why is life this way.
and i'm still trying to hold on to You because i cant find my voice to sing.

vanessa.c