for a long time, i've been thinking.

how i'd get attached, do all sorts of funny couple things, get married, settle down, have kids, grow old, then one day, leave this earth.

but i realised (for a long time), that life, is actually much more complicated. sure we cut all the stuff we dont want to hear about like fights, finance problems and ultimately death. yet at the same time, the realist part in me realises that there's just too much more.

we always say how character is so much more important than looks, but do we really apply it in our lives?

i was trying out a pair of jeans yesterday while shopping with shuwei and i realised so many flaws on my skin. way too many flaws that i've never taken any notice of before. i stared at them for awhile and i thought to myself, i'll never get past this.

i'll never be able to get past the fact that i dont have good skin, flat stomach/great looking abs, thick flowing hair, double eye-lids, slim legs, pretty nails, white teeth, uneven boobs and everything else in between. i'll look at myself in the mirror and know that they'll always be there no matter how nice my clothes are.

its different from saying i'm comfortable in my own skin.

i am okay with all these imperfections, i really am.

yet i know i'll always be flawed in someone else's eyes.

i know i'll never be able to get attached without feeling like i'm never good enough.

we're psycho-ed into thinking everyone's body is perfect without flaws. no cellulite, no stretch-marks, no pimples.

so now everytime we see someone really good, we have this mindset that he/she is perfect. perfect skin, perfect everything. then suddenly, you see a flaw and everything falls apart.

maybe, when the person is right, the flaws wont matter as much?

and some people make getting attached sound so easy. haha!!!

alrights. got to go for now.

loves

vanessa.c