Wednesday, July 13, 2011

it's been sometime hasnt it.

not much has changed but here are some news to keep this blog a little alive.

i've started my lessons, taking acca up as a part-time studies. i'm already into my 3rd set of classes this coming friday. (:
my brain hasnt felt this fried in such a long time and its both exasperating and exhilarating at the same time. i've never thought myself as someone who would be learning accounting ever, and look at where i am. haha! though it definitely remains to be seen, if i would even pass my papers. haha!!! hopefully i'll be able to get at least a degree from this!
oh! i have my best friend ting taking the classes with me so that's a really great help! she HAS to motivate me to pass my papers. haha!!! at least she helps keep me awake when it gets a little tough. plus she's very good with her maths. haha!!! (:

i got my mum an iphone awhile back and i've been addicted to it. haha!!! i want one! but i shall be patient and wait for the new one!

i've also been really busy at work, with new staff coming in and so many interns milling around. that's beside the point really. haha! my colleagues have been really nice to be working around with actually! so that makes working less dreary, and that is really something noteworth isnt it! (:

i remembered last night, my late grandaunt.
i wish i dreamed of her.
she's starting to feel like a distant memory and i dont want that to happen. i dont want to turn into those ocd people who starts keeping everything that means something which then turns into hoarding, but i see some of it happening.
i still have a wad of cloth that she used to make her shirts sitting in my cupboard. i didnt want
to see it burn.
i have her set of keys that are no longer usable with the new locks at home.
there's a bar of soap that she bought, sitting in the toilet drawer. no one uses or will ever use, but i dont want to throw it.
i miss seeing her ashtray around, the horrid black plastic-tyre ash tray with all the burn marks. sometimes, i thought i'd see her transparent lighters on the kitchen window ledge.
i still miss her.
all the small things that used to irritate the crap out of me, are the things i miss, now that she's gone.
i wish i could hear her loud stomping on the staircase when she comes down. all her wet footprints around the house and when she steps out of the house to go down to the coffeeshop for her cup of coffee and daily gossip.
i've hardly been down to the coffeeshop and shopnsave since she's gone... i find it so hard to look at the tables and know i wont be able to see her there.
i still want to tell her i'm sorry. i always do.

vanessa.c