relationships scare me, so i've come to realise. i thought of marriage and this guy's face that i would have to wake to everyday of my life and my heart just started thumping away.. for all the wrong reasons actually! of course i want to get attached, settle down maybe have a kid or two, but just the thought of facing that single face everyday before i slumber and when i wake just makes me so afraid.. afraid that the choice i made in marrying that poor guy might be a wrong choice that i would have to live with until death do us part. dont that scare people?!

i've also cone to realise how in all my past relationship (or the lackthereof) with guys in my life, i've always been someone to them, but never the one.. if you ask me, of course i'd feel sad and useless considering how romantic relationship never work out for me..

yet i was reminded in church how much i mean to God and i felt an instant joy..

anyways, more next time when my eyes arent closibg on me.,

vanessa.c