i just wonder at how my life has been and i ask the same question over and over again;

when is it my turn God? when is it my turn to fall in love with someone who would feel the same for me? am i that undeserving? is this love that i am yearning for, that elusive to me? will i ever get the chance to experience that love.. will i ever get the chance to be taken care of by the guy whom i have feelings for (and him, me). is it possible that i may never the chance, a shot, the experience of such a beautiful thing in life?

i've been through so much crap with only a few guys and i still dont deserve a proper man to love and cherish me? i must be doing something so wrong to merit such things..

its depressing each time and it gets worse.. i wonder how much more crap can take from guys before i drive myself mad wondering if that guy for me is out there or if he will ever turn up.. or maybe im just that undeserving and just too damaged to ever fall in love..

vanessa.c